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samanthasumler [userpic]

Night at the Theater

December 7th, 2009 (09:47 pm)
apathetic

current mood: apathetic

She really couldn't breathe. I mean, the normal consistent breathes were happening, but breathing? The freedom of it? The involuntary activity that you don't have to focus on? No, she wasn't breathing technically. She was sucking in each amount of oxygen that was around in and trying to survive. This happened every night, always around 6:57 pm, which was only twenty-seven minutes after they went on a date. She was consistent with her dating schedule, and every night, she would go out with him at 6:30. They would try and attend a movie together, but always left at the same time, only staying in the theatre for minutes. Or a restaurant, same effect. They would sneak into a bathroom, and passionately make out. His kisses were enchanting, like the ones in fairy tale movies. They copied the kiss from the ending of The Princess Bride and they were like so every time they kissed. Whether he left a quick one on her lips to move on to kissing her neck, they were all the same way.
However, about six minutes into their making out session, something inside him snapped. And that was why she was trying to breathe. He had left her on the floor of the bathroom to clean up the mess he made. She tried licking up the blood that had been stained in her mouth. Another vessel had popped quietly inside her mouth from the bruising recently caused. She stared at her arms, which had a few new colors added. Thank God for long sleeves. She couldn't leave him though. She loved the darn fool. His personality, grant it was a tad controlling, but he wanted her as his prize. He didn't want another girl, he wanted her. How could she deny him that? She was hurt, at the same time feeling special. He thought she was beautiful enough to be kept as a prize. There's something romantic there, yes, but the fact that he physically forced her to stay... I can live through it.

After cleaning herself up and wiping off anything that would ground as suspicious, she walked out of the restroom and headed toward the parking lot of the movie theater. Tonight had been their one year anniversary. But for some reason, she wasn't in as much pain as normal. He hadn't done as much damage as he normally did. She was confused, unsure if the night was over, or if he wasn't feeling the same.
He was already in the car, waiting for her to return. She knocked on the side door to alert him that she had come. With a small smile, his finger did the short movement of unlocking the car doors. She lowered her head as she entered his shiny expensive convertible.
"Are you okay, baby?" he sighed with a tone of sweetness. She knew he really didn't care; he was just toying with her, to let her know that he was sorry, when she knew he probably wasn't.
"As okay as I can be," she replied sarcastically. Her neck ached from when she landed on the tile. "How are you?"
"I'm sorry for this again, baby," he whispered quietly. His hand reached for her own and held it tightly. "I do love you. I really do, but something's wrong with me. Really."
"I could tell that," she sneered. "But why don't you get it checked out then?"
"They'd seperate us," he spoke tenderly into her ear. He was moving over and his hand moved from her hand to her cheek. "They'd say our relationship couldn't happen until I am fixed. And you don't want that, right?"
"Screw me, but no I don't. I can't believe it, but I love you," she cried. She responded to his movements as she brushed her lips against his. She could feel a spark throughout her body as he returned with a kiss of his own. His hand was moving freely running to her neck, pulling her in closer. She gritted her teeth to avoid complaining of the pain. She tried not to grow tense, so she relaxed her shoulders. His lips were opening more and more, requesting entry into her mouth more. She let him twist his tongue around hers, and his hand fell from her neck to her back. The force he was placing on her body was pushing her onto the door of the car. It was cutting into her back. But he kept pulling her closer, yet pushing her at the same time.
She released her mouth for a second to try and breathe, but he wouldn't let her. He clasped his teeth onto her lips, even when she tried to pull her head fully away.
"Mphstop," she said. He wouldn't. His hand on her back kept pressing more into her, and his other hand had moved to her chest, and was massaging her breasts. She was moaning out of habit, even though she didn't feel like it at all.
She opened her eyes to see that his face looked dark. His eyebrows were sunken, and his lips held an evil smirk. His body was dryhumping the side of her leg that he could reach. Being confided in a tiny car wasn't playing well. He would probably push her to feel all the pain of being in a enclosed area.
"Mmphlease, stop,"she begged and pleaded. Her shoulders tried moving away, tried pulling herself out of his grasp.
"No," he grumbled. "You're mine. Stop moving. You're mine." He grabbed a bundle of her hair on the back of her head and pulled back.
Her head went backwards, crashing onto the glass window of the car. She winced in pain, unable to hide it.
"You're mine, dammit," he yelled in her face. He pushed her to sit up in her chair instead of leaning on the door. He jumped on top of her. His hand slid on the window, becoming wet and slippery. His hands moved fast, popping off her shirt's buttons and unzipping his pants.
"Stop," she cried multiple times, now screaming. Her body was pinned underneath his. He placed his lips ferociously onto her lips, and began moving down her neck, to her chest. She tried kicking away, but was unable to do anything. He was kissing her breasts. She was constantly moving around. She could feel him begin ready to pull her skirt off to get what was on underneath off.
"You're mine, and you better remember that," he chuckled. "And I'm not getting fixed because then I'd lose this."
Her vision began fading away. A liquid was pouring onto her face, coming from the back of her head. Everything began losing its true density. She couldn't feel anything anymore. She didn't think that bang on the head was that hard, but then again, being in a relationship where hurt is a constant, how could she really tell how hurt she was?
"N-n-n-o," she silently stuttered. Her hand fell from pushing him away and landed to her side.
And with that she took her final breath, and let him control her one last time.

samanthasumler [userpic]

Wove... Twue Wove.

June 13th, 2009 (06:02 pm)
drained

current mood: drained


Things I Do/Don't Want At My Wedding

1) DON'T bang the table for me and my husband to kiss. We'll kiss if you just ask politely and in a sweet voice, okay?

2) DON'T eat at the reception until we get there, if you don't mind. I'd like us to eat together. It's more fun that way.

3) i WILL dance like a maniac so expect some crazy songs to dance to.

4) DON'T expect me to throw some stupid thing at you. No bouquet, nothing! Those dumb traditions never work. and besides, I'd feel ridiculous.

5) i WON'T be a gentle bride. I will be a fun, loving, having bride.

6) it will be inside a building. because i sweat like a maniac and the wind, and blegh.

7) Invite wedding crashers. aka. people you know that i don't that you know won't be that terrible.

8) Please, please cry.

9) DON'T leave without saying goodbye and saying some dirty inside joke.

10) I WANT A CHOCOLATE WATERFALL.

 

Today was the day my lovely cousin, Tracey, got married :3

I can remember when she and I sat on the floor of her bedroom, chatting up about the latest celebrity gossip. She was my first older sister figure. She taught me everything I know about life and gave me tons of advice on what to do and how to live. And these are the top 10 lovely things I learned

10) Never leave the house with wet hair! Always blow dry your hair no matter what. Nothing looks worse than a girl with wet hair. Unless she does look good, but Sam, I say this because I love you, I don't want you to be one of those girls. We all know the reputation they have. I mean, I don't but you don't want to give them a reputation. We all know how bad us girls are ;)

9) If you are going to dress up for a boy, at least put on some eyeshadow. It's like the fudge on a sundae for a guy. Oh, let's go get some fudge. Forget the boys, let's have a girls night out. I'm starving for some fudge sundaes!! Let's head to McDonald's! XD

8) Don't take yourself to a scary movie by yourself. Bring a friend along. And well... okay, bring me? Because I'm too scared to go by myself! Then after we can go to McDonald's. Skip the scary movie if you even think you're going to be a bit scared!

7) Turn up that music! I love this song!

6) You don't have to worry about over-eating when you're single. No, trust me, once you have a target, that's when it becomes difficult. I wish he'd let me eat. Not because he doesn't like you for you, but you want to give him something good to look at. But don't worry about your looks at all. Just watch what you eat and make sure you don't over eat. If you do that, you aren't gaining, okay? And if you have a day where you even think you're fat, I swear, i'm going to take out that thing in your life that made you second guess yourself. I love you, baby cous.

5) Appreciate your boobs. Some of us, the ones who still buy out of the teenage girls section, wish every night for your boobs. So, stop complaining and start using them for all of us.

4) Smile hard and long.

3) When you're home alone, there's no reason not to shake what your momma gave you.

2) Boys can be really really dumb.

1) I love you baby cousin :D

And when I saw my lovely 22-year-old cousin walk down that aisle in that gorgeous white wedding gown, I had to put the camera in front of my eyes just to hide the tears. She was my best friend when I was little. I love my Tracey. And now, she's gone... ):

samanthasumler [userpic]

(no subject)

May 21st, 2009 (09:13 pm)
current mood: alone


I'm traveling down a dark, twisted road. The dirt is composed of some unknown black substance. The light is barely visible. I can't see around me but yet a few feet ahead. There are trees overlapping the path and their branches are creating an archway above me.

 

I keep walking forward, wondering if the path would never end. Then, I hear faint voices that feel familiar. They feel extremely familiar, but my mind is at a blank as to where those voices connect into my past.

 

I will start running. Running toward the light, I still hear the faint voices that grow louder with each passing step.

 

I'm on a dark road.

 

Darkness.

 

Twilight.

 

I shall be on this path for awhile. For every step draws me closer, while it feels like every step draws me back.

samanthasumler [userpic]

its kinda depressing, but i'm kinda depressed now

May 2nd, 2009 (03:39 pm)

No one wants me

And right now, I'm not sure if I want them.


Have fun at your party.


I probably would have had a crappy time anyway.
I always end up having a crappy time

samanthasumler [userpic]

Sickie Needs Sunshine

May 1st, 2009 (01:38 pm)
sick

current location: home
current mood: sick
current song: Supermassive Black Hole


There isn't any word in the human dictionary that I can think to describe what I am feeling other than the word tired. I could say 'sick of', but I'm sick enough as it is.

So let's start on that subject. I'm sick. My nose is a constant spring of phlegm that no amount of dayquil and/or nyquil can stop from running. My throat just feels overused and abandoned. I have a temperature of 97, which you think would be good, but if your temperatue is low, that's not good either. My head feels like an old rusty vacuum is sucking my brain out. And I am worn out to the extreme. I feel so fatigued that... I can't even think of anything to follow it. My brain has been on low maintence for days now, and to be honest, I'd like my intelligence back. I sound like I'm a elementary school drop out, ending statements mid sentence because the only words I can think of are 'like' and 'that' and 'them' and possibly other words that I can't think of now.

Which brings me to my next complaint. My being sick has caused me to not go to things that I love going to and miss people I love seeing. Did that sentence come out right? I hope so. Anyway, my sickness made me miss Romeo and Juliet practice these last two days, which really burns me up because there are some pretty coool people there that always make my day. And well, to be honest, I hate telling someone I can't be there. But more importantly, I needed to see my fun friends. And my sunshine. he makes me smile and well, by darn it i need a smile!!! I haven't good heartedly laughed for three days..... THREE DAYS!!!!!

Then theres the fact that I have a group of friend-like people who I have spent way too much time with that even thinking of them annoys me. I mean, I like some of them. Some of them are cool, some weird, some I've grown jealous toward, and well one in particular who well, if he fell on a cliff I wouldn't mind. I'm sure everyone wouldn't mind if he fell on a cliff. Maybe his dad would care a little...

I guess I could celebrate that today is my last final. And I've passed 4/5 classes so far. Today I find out if I pass my chemistry class which I've been failing since day one, but I've stuck through so I can get my degree. Which I walk next saturday!!! XD Plus my grandmother is giving me some present that makes my mom go "woah". her words, not mine. I asked if it was a car, but sadly, she said no. I think my grandma would have to have an anerysm to give me a car.

I could also celebrate that well, I've lost five pounds. Which is great. I mean I've been working to loose it for five months now, so finally I've achieved it. I mean I went to only eating 1000 calories a day so you figure I was about to loose some eventually. But I'm just tired of worrying about how much I weigh, what I look like, who likes what I look like, and if I'll ever get anyone to like me for who I am. I know people all the time say "looks don't matter. the real special guy won't care." Well if that wasn't a lie, I don't know what is. Because Guys do care. It's all they care about. And please, if you know a guy who doesn't, he's probably gay anyway. And people have been trying to cheer me up, mentioning I had a guy who was in love with me, how he said I was beautiful. But he really didn't think so. I remember asking him why he loved me and heres exactly what he said. "lets face it, youre not the most attractive girl. you and i are just alike. no one else will want us, so we should just be together" He was such a charmer, wasnt he? Anyway, I'm just tired of wasting my time thinking about a boy to like me. I'm never going to find one, so I'm just giving up on it.

To end this, my birthday is next month. June 4th. I finally turn 18. I've been counting down these days since I was old enough to understand that 18 made me an adult. But now that its here, I don't want it... I look back on how all my friends, when they turned 18, they all got special parties and extravaganzas and etc etc etc. Well thats because their birthdays are during the school year. Every year on my birthday, the only people I see or hear from our my family. I mean, grant it, I get the myspace/facebook mandatory 'happy birthday' posts. but for once i'd like to see my friends on my birthday; they come over, surprise me, maybe kidnap me while i'm sleeping and take me out to breakfast. Stupid right? i dont want gifts from them. just to come and take me away and spend time with them... I'm really being pathetic and whiny now, aren't I? Go on. It's okay. I'm selfish....

WIth all these things combined, I am tired of everything. Sometimes I just wanna not do it anymore, But that keeps me going to see if there is going to be something better tomorrow. There never isn't. But one day it will be, right?

God, I am the most pathetic, complaining, selfish little whiny girl I know.

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